Honey, in the Grand Scheme of Things, Your Actions Don’t Really Matter!

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Sometimes, no matter how kind, patient, or forgiving you are, it still won’t make someone love or respect you more. You can show up again and again, fight harder, explain your little heart out, communicate how you're feeling, and they’ll still treat you the same way. Because honey, in the grand scheme of things, your actions don’t matter if someone has already decided what role you’ll play in their life.

We like to convince ourselves that people just don’t realize how they make us feel. But deep down, you know they do. They’re not confused, they’re comfortable. They know when they’re ignoring your messages. When they’re half-interested and half-trying. You’re not dealing with someone who forgot your worth, you’re dealing with someone who knows it but doesn’t care enough to act on it. 

You know that thing that you find yourself doing all the damn time? Where you start trying harder to prove you’re worth it? You text first, send long paragraphs, forgive fast, offer help, bend, stretch, shrink. You tell yourself it’s because you care, but you’re overcompensating for someone else’s lack of effort.

We’ve all been there, replaying the conversations, wondering what we did wrong, itching to get that one final talk to make sense of everything. We call it finding closure. But closure isn’t something they give you, it’s something you have to give yourself. Most people who hurt you won’t suddenly gain emotional awareness and offer an apology that makes it all make sense. And even if they did, it wouldn’t erase the hurt. 

There's also this one habit of pretending silence means nothing. You tell yourself that they’re just “busy” or “dealing with stuff.” But silence is an answer. If someone wanted to talk to you, they would. If they wanted to make things right, they would. The absence of effort is the choice not to care.

Listen to what people don’t say. Their silence will often tell you everything their words won’t. When you’re the only one holding it together, that's not love. And no amount of proving will change that! They won't wake up one day and say, “Wow, I love them now because they tolerated my nonsense for six months.” They in fact, start resenting you!

You’ll never find peace in trying to be understood, chosen, loved, or appreciated by the wrong people. Peace begins when you realize that your worth isn’t a group project.

The art of detachment isn’t about being cold, it’s all about creating freedom for yourself. It’s saying, “I can love you and still let you go.” It’s realizing that you don’t have to chase closure or fight for recognition. It’s not easy, you’ll miss them, you’ll even be tempted to check if they’ve “changed.” But you need to remind yourself that you’re not walking away because you stopped caring. You’re walking away because you finally started caring about yourself, too.

One lesson I've had to learn the hard way as I grow older is that people know what they’re doing STOP fighting for basic decency!

Because the truth is, the ones who truly see you don’t need convincing and the ones who don’t see you will never look hard enough and that's okay.

Thanks a bunch for sticking around.

See you next time, bye!🤎

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