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There's something that has been bothering me so much (yes, today I'm here to rant) seriously guys, why is a woman’s strength always measured by how much she can suffer?
You hear it everywhere in conversations, in the shows and movie,s how a woman is praised for accepting all the nonsense that's dished out to her, but rarely taught or encouraged to stand up for herself.
It feels like the more pain we’ve taken, the more “real” we are as women. But what happens when you decide you’re done suffering? Suddenly, you’re no longer strong, you’re selfish, and dramatic.
It's honestly sad how we've been taught to believe that the strongest women are the ones who smile through pain, stay silent through disrespect, never complain, and keep giving even when their cup is empty. Society doesn’t clap for women who say I’m tired or I want and deserve better! From a young age, we're taught to be patient, it will get better. But sometimes, it doesn’t get better, and choosing to stay becomes a form of self-abandonment. We’ve been trained to hold on for dear life even when it’s killing us from the inside.
Take a minute and look at how crazy society is. When a woman stays with a toxic or abusive partner, people call her loyal and a good woman. But God forbid she decides she wants better and finally leaves, they start shaming her, saying that she gave up too fast.
Then there’s motherhood omg the ultimate field of judgment. Mothers are often expected to give until there’s nothing left of them. If she admits she’s tired or overwhelmed, she’s not being a good mom. If she hires a nanny or seeks help, she’s "lazy" liiiiiike...
Seriously, why do we glorify suffering? Why is the burnt-out mom seen as more devoted than the one who sets boundaries and says, I need help?
Even how a woman gives birth becomes everyone else’s business. “You didn’t do a natural birth? You took pain meds? You had a C-section? The standard is always the same if, didn’t hurt enough! As if motherhood needs to start with unnecessary suffering to be meaningful. But the fact is, giving birth, no matter the method, is brave. PERIOD!
In every area of life, women are told to manage their emotions carefully. When you cry, you’re too emotional, when you stay calm, then you’re being cold. You can't win! We’re expected to be soft but not sensitive, and strong but not intimidating.
In the workplace, it’s no different. A woman working hard is seen as desperate or trying too hard, if she asks for flexibility, she’s not serious. If she’s being assertive, she’s bossy and rude. The standard for women keeps moving higher and higher.
We’re also expected to suffer gracefully to smile while breaking inside. We’ve been conditioned to prioritize everyone’s comfort over our own dignity and peace. It’s not enough that we survive hard things, we’re told to make our survival look pretty. We can't look angry, tired, sad, or disinterested, we'll make everyone uncomfortable (haha).
Funny thing is, even among women, suffering sometimes turns into a competition. "Well, at least you don’t have kids, at least you have a husband, at least you're single, at least you have a job." It’s as if the more someone struggles, the more valid her womanhood becomes. We can support each other without measuring the amount of pain.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not invalidating any woman’s pain or suffering, but maybe it’s time we start celebrating different kinds of strength, the kind that doesn’t always come with scars. We’ve been so busy applauding women for how much they can endure that we forget to applaud them for how much they’ve achieved and become.
Let’s celebrate women for the lives they’ve built, the peace they’ve protected, the boundaries they’ve drawn and for walking away when love turned toxic, for choosing healing over endurance. And not forgetting to admit “I need help.”
Because maybe, true strength is all about how well you can protect your peace when the world keeps trying to take it from you. Choosing yourself again and again and again and again!
Thanks a bunch for sticking around.
See you next time, bye!🤎