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Go When people say, “I’m working on myself,” it always sounds cute, like you’ll just wake up one day glowing, with your hair behaving, your skin clear, and your life organized into little labeled jars.
But nobody warns you about the price!
Listen, you can’t keep all your old habits, mindsets, and people and magically become your best self!! You’re gonna have to give things up. Sometimes that “thing” is a toxic friendship. Sometimes it’s your 2 a.m. scrolling habit. Sometimes it’s your tendency to say yes when you meant absolutely not.
The truth is, it’s not just the bad stuff that’s hard to let go of. Sometimes it’s the comfortable stuff, the familiar stuff. The version of you that you’ve known for years. And it's honestly so scary.
Listen, the new you is going to cost you the old you...
Your mindset changes, and it feels weird...
Mindset shift sounds exciting in theory. But when you start to actually think differently about work, relationships, money, or yourself, it can feel a little unsettling and overwhelming.
You might notice you don’t tolerate certain things anymore. That little voice that used to say, It’s fine, I’ll just deal with it is replaced by, actually, I deserve better. And while that’s a win, it can feel uncomfortable because it’s new.
It’s like your brain updated itself overnight, and now you can’t find the old settings. Sure, it’s for the better, but there’s a part of you that misses the comfortable dysfunction you’d already learned to live with.
Your attitude stops playing nice, and some people won't like it...
The old you knew how to keep the peace, even if it meant laughing at jokes that weren’t funny or agreeing with things you didn’t believe in. The new you? Nah.
Now you speak up. You ask questions. You stop saying “it’s okay” when it’s not. And while that’s great for your self-respect, it can feel like you’re breaking some unspoken law you’ve lived by for years.
Some people will think you’ve changed, they’re right. They just won’t always clap for it or be happy for you.
Your character levels up, which means you can’t ignore stuff anymore....
Funny thing about personal growth is, when your standards rise, you can’t un-see the areas you’ve been slacking in.
The old you could let things slide. The new you feels a tiny itch every time you’re out of alignment with your values. And that itch won’t go away until you do something about it.
I see responsibility a lot like veggies, it’s good for you, but some days you wish you could push it to the side of your plate, right?
Your new friend self-discipline moves in uninvited, but is very Useful...
The old you relied on motivation, waiting to “feel like it” before doing the thing. But the new you knows feelings are often unreliable, so you just go ahead and do it anyway.
Self-discipline is not glamorous. There’s no cheering crowd when you choose to go for a walk instead of binge-watching another episode, or you decide to wash the dishes instead of leaving them in the sink. No applause when you meal-prep instead of ordering takeout. No standing ovation for going to bed early instead of scrolling until your eyes hurt.
It's the quiet inner work that's like a pillar that keeps the new you standing.
And some days, it will feel like that friend who tells you the truth you don’t want to hear but need to hear. You love them, but you also roll your eyes at them.
Your circle starts to shrink, and you wonder if it’s your fault.
Nobody talks enough about how personal growth can rearrange your social life.
It’s not that you suddenly think you’re better than anyone. You just don’t vibe the same anymore. Conversations feel different. Priorities change. Sometimes it’s a slow drift. Sometimes it’s a sharp exit.
And yes, it sucks!
But the people who are meant to meet the new you will show up. Promise!
The part that feels scary... You feel like you're losing yourself.
You might catch yourself thinking, Who am I now? You don’t recognize certain habits or reactions anymore. You’re less available for drama, less willing to self-sabotage, less interested in things that once felt essential, and for a split second, you miss the old version of you.
And even though deep down you know this is good, the shift can feel like mourning an old friend. Except that friend is you.
Let me be honest with you...
Yes, you are losing a version of yourself. That’s what growth is. You’re shedding old skin. You’re pruning branches so new ones can grow. You know, you can’t drag your old self into your new season.
The transition to being the new you is a journey, it's not a quick fix. Yes, it might get overwhelming, but it's worth it. It’s like moving to a new home. At first, you miss your old neighborhood. You don’t know which drawer you put the spoons in. The lighting feels different. But give it a little time, and suddenly you’ve found your new rhythm.
These are four simple tips that have been helping me so far...
1. Keep a few “old you” comforts.
Not every part of your past self has to go. If you loved quiet mornings with coffee, keep them. If music always comforted you, keep listening. If Sunday walks always cleared your head, don’t ditch them. Let some familiar habits anchor you while the rest evolves.
2. Remember the why.
On the days growth feels lonely, remember the discomfort you felt staying the same. Remember the things that held you back from achieving your full potential. Remember the reasons for wanting to be better. You’re not abandoning yourself, you’re just investing in yourself.
3. Accept the awkward middle stage.
It’s like growing your locs, you know, the awkward stage where your hair shrinks, there's a lot of frizz, when your hair isn't doing what it's supposed to do, you even find it difficult to style them, and you almost want to comb them out!!. feels weird before it looks good. Now this journey is somewhat the same, you need to give it time. The discomfort won’t last forever.
4. Surround yourself with people who get it.
Or at least try to..
Find those who celebrate your growth, even when they don’t fully understand it. That kind of support makes the change feel less isolating.
So, Bestie, the new you will cost you the old you. But it’s not a loss, it’s an upgrade. You’re trading habits, mindsets, and relationships that kept you stuck, for the ones that will carry you forward.
One day, you’ll look back and realize you’re not losing yourself, you’re meeting a version of you you’ve never met before. And honestly? You’re going to like it.
Which part of personal growth has been the hardest for you? Is it mindset, discipline, relationships, or something else?
I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks a bunch for sticking around.
See you next time, bye!🤎