Let's Talk Self-Respect!

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We spend so much time talking about respect like it’s this magical thing other people are supposed to hand us.

Respect my time. 
Respect my boundaries. 
Respect my opinions.

It’s easy to talk about respect when it’s someone else’s job. It’s much harder when the finger points inward. Because if we’re being brutally honest, a lot of us are excellent at demanding respect from the outside world, while treating ourselves the exact opposite.

Think about how often you’ve broken a promise to yourself without even blinking. You say you’ll go for that walk, but then you scroll TikTok until your coffee’s gone cold. You promise you’ll speak up in that meeting, but you shrink back and tell yourself you’ll “do it next time.” If a friend kept bailing on you like that, you’d probably stop trusting them. And yet, here we are, doing it to ourselves like it’s no big deal. We cancel on ourselves because someone else’s plan sounds more urgent.  And then we wonder why our self-esteem is sitting in the corner broken!

And then there’s the way we talk to ourselves. You spill your coffee and instantly, you’re telling yourself how clumsy you are, then you start having reruns of every awkward thing you’ve ever done since 2009. You forget something and the first thought is, “Wow, you’re so useless.” The thing is, we’d never speak to a friend like that. If someone we cared about made a small mistake, we’d brush it off, maybe even reassure them. But with ourselves, the tone changes. We go straight for criticism, like it’s the only language we know. 

Over time, that kind of self-talk impacts the way we see ourselves. We need to remember that respect isn’t only about how others treat us, it’s about the way we choose to treat ourselves, even in the small, everyday moments. Here’s the problem, these little moments add up. We think they’re harmless, but over time, they teach us that our own needs and boundaries are optional. We start living like the personal assistant to everyone else’s life, while treating ourselves like an unpaid intern.

Respecting yourself doesn’t look like walking into a room and announcing, “Listen up peasants, respect me!” It’s choosing to put your phone down because you promised yourself more sleep. It’s saying “I can’t make it” without padding the sentence with five paragraphs of apologies. It’s deciding not to tolerate that one situation that’s been draining you just because you “don’t want to make a fuss.”

We skip over self-respect a lot because we’ve been told that putting ourselves first is selfish. But here’s the thing, if you keep treating yourself like you’re not important, people will happily follow your lead. You can’t demand something from the world that you aren’t willing to give to yourself.

Self-respect also means knowing when to ask for help and being okay with admitting there are things you don’t know, because honestly, no one has it all figured out. 

Choose to take care of your own heart. Start keeping the little promises you make to yourself, like enjoying your tea without rushing or finally putting your phone down before bed. Take yourself out, buy yourself something nice for no reason at all. Let your “no” be enough without the weight of guilt. Remember, your time is precious, and you don’t owe it to anyone who treats it carelessly. Trust that quiet nudge in your gut, even if no one else gets it. Guard your peace like it’s your favorite pair of jeans, the one you’d never lend out. Show yourself in small ways, every single day, that you matter. The more you do, the more you teach the world to treat you the same way.

And yes, it will feel weird at first. If you’re used to putting yourself last, prioritizing yourself will feel like you’re breaking the law. You’ll feel guilty. You’ll worry people will think you’ve changed. But eventually, it stops feeling selfish and starts feeling like normal!

The best part? Once you start respecting yourself, you don’t have to scream for respect from others. The way you carry yourself does most of the talking. And the people who don’t like it? Well, they can keep moving!!

So bestie,  maybe the question isn’t just “Do they respect me?”

Maybe it’s “Do I respect me?”

Because when you start treating yourself like someone worth showing up for, you raise the bar.

What’s one way you could start respecting yourself more today?

I’d love to hear from you.

Thanks a bunch for sticking around.

See you next time, bye!🤎

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