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You know who you are. The one who always shows up, even when you’re running on fumes. The one who says, “I got you,” even when you don’t got yourself!
For many of us, it started young. You weren’t just a child, you were the helper, the second parent, the one who looked after everyone else. You were told to behave, to be the “good one.” You learned not to ask for too much, not because you didn’t have needs, but because deep down, you didn’t want the others to go without. Funny thing is, you were even praised for it. You made yourself small so they could have more. You grew up fast. You didn’t have much of a choice to just be a kid.
And even now, as an adult, you’re still carrying that weight. You're the therapist to your mother, the peacekeeper in your family, the emotional anchor in your friendships and relationships. Somewhere along the way, you started believing that your worth was tied to how well you could hold everyone else together.
I see you, I see how much you care, how deeply you love. But I also see how tired you are.
Bestie, it’s not your job to save everyone.
I know, I know, that’s hard to hear. Especially when your love language is “What can I fix for you?” But constantly stepping in, constantly trying to rescue, patch up, or hold people steady, it’s a fast road to burnout. And that's not fair to you.
We confuse love with saving all the time. We think if we stop showing up, everything will fall apart. But sometimes, that’s exactly what needs to happen, so that people can grow, learn, and actually take responsibility for their lives. You might think that you are helping them, but you're destroying them, you are standing between them and their growth. You can actually love people and still let them carry their own pain.
Okay, let's be honest for a moment, being the savior doesn’t make you strong. Being the savior just makes you tired. Support doesn’t have to come at the cost of your well-being. And if you’ve been showing up for everyone but yourself, it’s time to change that.
You’ve tried to fix people who didn’t even want to be fixed. You’ve tried to solve problems that weren’t yours to begin with. You’ve carried burdens that were never meant for your shoulders. And meanwhile, your own needs? Neglected. Your own peace? Gone.
Sad, right?
I know it feels wrong to step back. I know part of you feels guilty even thinking about it. But not everything that’s broken is yours to repair. You are not the painkiller for everyone’s headache. And letting go of that role doesn’t make you selfish. It means you’re finally choosing you.
Remember this:
You’re not God.
You’re allowed to say, “This is too much for me.”
You can love without trying to fix.
You deserve relationships where support goes both ways.
It’s not your job to fix what people won’t face.
You’re allowed to have boundaries
You can be supportive without sacrificing your own peace.
You can rest. Seriously, rest. The world will not collapse because you took a nap.
Trust me, I know how hard it can be to open up when you’re wired this way. When you’ve spent your whole life being the strong one, the fixer, it can feel nearly impossible to say, “Actually, I’m not okay.” It’s not even about pride, sometimes, we just don’t have the words. The emotions get tangled. You sit with a heavy heart and a blank mind, unsure of how to even begin explaining what’s going on, what you're feeling inside.
Something that’s been helping me lately is journaling. Not the neat, poetic kind, just honest and raw expressions of how I'm feeling. Voice recordings when I can’t write, and scribbled thoughts when speaking feels too hard. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be real.
If it gets too overwhelming, if you can’t say it out loud, or you want some advice, you can send that voice recording or journal entry to someone you trust. It might feel scary, but it’s also freeing. Friendly reminder, you deserve to be heard, you don’t always have to hold it all in.
So today, we’re letting go. Of the savior role, of the guilt. Of the belief that love has to hurt you in order to matter. You’re allowed to care deeply and still let go. You’re allowed to love people and not carry their pain for them.
Listen, you don't have to be a hero!
How can you start showing up for yourself the way you show up for others?
I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks a bunch for sticking around.
See you next time, bye!🤎