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There's a kind of mentality that quietly shapes how we move through this world of ours, how we handle money, how we speak to ourselves, and even how we pray. It’s the voice that says, “That’s too much to ask for.” That wild feeling that if someone else wins, it means you’ve lost because there's not much to go around. It’s the silent panic that you’re always just one mistake away from not having enough- enough love, enough opportunities, enough security.
The scarcity mentality...
And no, it doesn’t only show up in how you spend or save. It can manifest itself into non-material parts of life too, like how you hold onto toxic relationships and friendships, how you second-guess your dreams, or how you pray small because you don’t want to "bother" God too much.
This way of thinking often has deeper roots than we realize. It can come from poverty, yes. But it also comes from childhood experiences where lack was the norm, from cultural and religious teachings that glorify struggle, and from the capitalist language around us that screams: “There’s not enough to go around, so fight for your share.”
When scarcity mentality shows up financially, it can feel like you're always on edge. You’re hyper-aware of every coin leaving your pocket, you constantly check your bank balance and wallet, even when there’s enough. You avoid risks, skip out on investing, and save the “nice things” for some special occasion that rarely ever happens. Deep down, you're afraid that if you spend too much or enjoy too freely, you’ll lose it all. So you default to the cheapest option, even when it means settling for poor quality, not because you love the bargain, but because you’re scared that money might stop flowing.
Even when you’ve worked hard and built a little comfort for yourself, there’s this underlying guilt around enjoying it. Like you don’t fully believe you deserve the ease, the softness, the rewards of your own labor. It’s not that you're ungrateful. It’s fear, quietly whispering to you that all that is going to end!!
It can also make you cling onto friendships and relationships that drain you, simply because you’re scared you won’t find better. You start convincing yourself, “At least they’re here,” but the fact is, they don’t see you, love you well, or treat you with respect. That same fear can keep you stuck in a job that's toxic and breaks you, not because you love it, but because a part of you believes this is as good as it gets. Scarcity tells you to settle, to shrink, to hold on tight to things that no longer serve you, just in case nothing else shows up. It makes you feel like asking for more is too much.
Even in prayer, you literally start filtering your requests like you’re applying for a limited grant! picking and choosing what feels like a real emergency and what can wait. You hold back. Not because you don’t believe in God, but because somewhere deep inside, you worry you might be asking for too much. So you bargain with yourself: “Let me just pray for this one thing. I don’t want to seem greedy.” It’s almost like you think there’s a limit on blessings, that if you ask for too much, it might all get finished.
Scarcity makes you tiptoe around your own needs. But in doing so, we forget who we’re talking to. We forget how big God is. How endless His love is. How His promises aren’t based on scarcity: they’re based on abundance, grace, and eternity. There’s no shortage in God. Only we were taught to pray like there was.
Bestie, if you’ve seen yourself in any of this, I just want you to know that you’re not alone. So many of us were raised in survival mode, not abundance. We found ourselves shrinking our own needs, not because we didn’t have dreams, but because we were afraid they wouldn’t come true, we were worried they were too big for us.
But the good news is that you can unlearn this. This kind of shift takes time, so be gentle with yourself.
Start small...
Practice noticing fear without letting it make your choices, validate your feelings, but don't let it hold you back. Buy something nice for yourself, not because of a special occasion, just because. Take a chance on that opportunity even when your inner voice says, " Play it safe.” Speak kinder words over your money, your time, your future. And when you pray, let it be from a place of trust, not panic.
Remind yourself that asking for more doesn’t make you ungrateful. Allow yourself to enjoy what you’ve built, trust me, it doesn’t make you irresponsible. There is enough to go around for everyone. You are enough, and you are allowed to live like that’s true.
This mindset was never yours to carry forever, give yourself permission to heal!
Have you ever caught yourself playing small, not because you wanted to, but because you were afraid you're asking for too much?
I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks a bunch for sticking around.
See you next time, bye!🤎