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I’ve often heard people say things like, "That’s just how they are," or "She just has a bad temper," or "You know, we’re all different." Sometimes it's, "He just has a loud personality." And sure, I get it, we’re all wired differently. But why am I the one who has to compromise my peace? Why should my boundaries be the ones stretched thin to accommodate someone else’s bad behavior or insensitive words?
For the longest time, I thought being quiet, understanding, and "the bigger person" was the only way to keep the peace. But then I realized that peace that costs me isn’t peace at all.
So I shut down all that noise. I chose to put myself first and you know what? It’s been so freeing to realize that I can still love and appreciate people from a distance. I don’t have to keep them close to prove I care. I don’t need to absorb the chaos in the name of connection.
I gave myself permission to place people where they truly belong.
You should too, because honestly, that small shift has made a huge difference in my life.
There’s so much freedom in realizing that loving people doesn’t mean you have to get attached. You’re allowed to walk your journey independently and still hold love for them in your heart. You can care deeply without needing the closeness. There’s no rulebook that says you must involve them in every aspect of your life and choosing not to doesn’t make your love any less real. Sometimes life happens and you get to truly know the kind of people you want in your life, and those that need you to detach. The kindest thing you can do for yourself is to create that distance.
I can’t say this enough, be so intentional when choosing who you allow into your inner circle. These aren’t just casual connections, these are the people who have an impact on your energy, influence your thoughts, affect your mood, and your overall growth. Every person in your close circle has an impact, whether you notice it or not. So ask yourself, is it a positive one, or is it quietly draining you? Do they uplift you, challenge and support your growth? Or do they cloud your clarity and make you question your worth?
Don’t just accept people into your core system because of history, guilt, or pressure. Take your time. Observe how you feel after spending time with them. Do you feel lighter or heavier? Inspired or confused? And if someone in your circle no longer brings light into your life, it's okay to let them go. Sometimes, placing people where they belong means cutting ties with them for good. Some were never meant to stay forever. Some were only meant to show you what you no longer need.
Honey, some people belong in the past chapters of your life. And that’s okay💯. Just because someone was important in your past season doesn’t mean they need to follow you into the next. Growth requires us to be honest about who still fits into the current version of who we’re becoming.
Let go of the urge to keep reintroducing people into chapters they were never meant to be in. You know deep down when someone no longer fits. You feel it in the tension, in the effort it takes to keep them close, in the way your spirit shrinks when you’re around them. And no matter how many years you've known them, time is not a reason to hold on. Honor and appreciate the role they played and keep turning the pages!!
And finally, don’t keep someone in your life simply because they feel familiar or because the thought of being alone scares you. You're better off being alone and happy rather than being surrounded by people only to end up feeling lonely.
Accept people as they are without trying to fix or change them and place them where they belong. Some belong close, some belong in the background. And some are better left in the pages you've already turned. Bestie, CHOOSE YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN!!
Do you feel like there's someone in your life that you need to love from a distance?
I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks a bunch for sticking around.
See you next time, bye!🤎
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