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First of all, I’m so proud of you. Having boundaries is such a beautiful and bold step towards self-respect. It means you’ve taken the time to understand what you need, what drains you, and what you no longer want to tolerate in your own life.
But now comes the harder part, the one that often gets overlooked. Enforcing our goddamn boundaries!!
Many of us are so great at expressing our boundaries. We tell our friends not to call us after a certain hour. We let our families know when their jokes cross a line. We communicate to our partners what we’re not okay with. Some even go ahead and write them down. We speak with conviction and say all the right things. But when someone disregards or pushes past those boundaries, something inside us hesitates. It might be guilt or fear of being seen as harsh or unloving. Whatever it is, it makes us stay silent. And slowly, without realizing it, we teach the people around us that our boundaries are flexible and are an option. That they’re open for negotiation. And that defeats the very purpose of setting them in the first place!!
When someone crosses a boundary you’ve clearly communicated, your first instinct might be to protect them instead of yourself. You start thinking, It's just one time. Everyone makes mistakes. Maybe they just didn’t understand what I meant. These thoughts are common, especially if you're a kind-hearted person who doesn’t want to make others feel bad. But what about how YOU feel? Each time you let it slide, even just once, you’re sending a silent message that your boundaries aren’t worth honoring. And over time, you begin to feel disrespected, and sometimes, the other person doesn’t even know their impact, because you never held them accountable.
Again, it’s important to remember that not everyone is out to hurt you or cross your line on purpose. Sometimes people genuinely don’t know they’ve overstepped. That’s why communication is so important. If someone wasn’t aware of your boundaries, take a breath and have that conversation. Be honest and clear. Let them know what matters to you and why. Give people the chance to understand how you want to be treated. But once you’ve made those boundaries known, if someone continues to ignore them, then it’s not confusion, it’s a choice. And that choice deserves a consequence!
The truth is, we teach people how to treat us by what we allow. So if someone calls you strict, difficult, or too much for having boundaries, let them. You're allowed to protect your energy, your time, your space, and your heart. Stop negotiating your boundaries. Because the more you respect yourself, the more you’ll attract people who do the same.
Have you been standing firm on your boundaries lately?
I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks a bunch for sticking around.
See you next time, bye!🤎