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Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe this.
The truth is, most of us grew up learning how to make ourselves smaller, not because we wanted to, but because we were taught to. When we were younger, many of us were told, "Stop bragging, be humble!" but looking back, we weren't even bragging, we just wanted to celebrate our wins, we just wanted to feel special once in a while.
We were told things like, "let others speak first,” without any clear explanation why. Maybe you were that little babe who twirled happily in your new dress, you were so happy, only to be told to stop showing off. You know what happens, over time, those messages turned into habits. We learnt how to downplay our wins, brush off compliments, and become extremely self-conscious. Now, as adults, we carry those same habits with us, and some even struggle celebrating themselves.
We need to redefine what humility means to us because sis, there’s a big difference between being humble and forgetting what you deserve. Humility means not thinking or acting like you're better than other people. Instead, you respect others, appreciate their help, and stay grounded. It’s about being honest with yourself, acknowledging your strengths and also your weaknesses. In short, if you're good at something, do it to your level best if not, step back and allow others to take the lead.
I heard something so powerful the other day: people will shame you into living in their limitations. Because your growth reminds them of where they’re stuck. So don't shrink yourself to make others comfortable. And with that said, I want to share three things with you that will literally shift your mindset.
Having standards and actually sticking to them is not being selfish. Somewhere along the way, many of us started to believe that asking for what we need or holding certain expectations makes us "too much."Yes, they will call you strict or boring, some will even try to insult you by calling you stuck up. But you know what, standing for what you want and refusing to settle, is strength and it’s self-respect. You’re allowed to protect your peace, say no to what doesn’t align, and walk away from things that drain you. It’s about honoring your worth.
Having preferences is okay too. If you enjoy expensive clothes or jewellery, that's okay, if chilling to you means going for adventures, it's also okay. We need to remember that we are all different, you are allowed to like what you like, to want what you want, and to express that without guilt. Whether it’s the kind of energy you surround yourself with, how you spend your time, or even the way you want to be spoken to, your preferences matter. They don’t make you picky or difficult, so you don’t have to shrink your needs to fit into someone else’s comfort zone!!
And more importantly, don’t shift yourself into a version that you're not okay with just to be accepted. If you have a loud personality, go ahead and embrace it, if you're introverted, don't start doing things that make you lose your authentic self. When we constantly adjust who we are to make others happy, we lose touch with our own values, voice, and truth. The version of you that’s most true to yourself is the one that deserves to take up space, fully and freely. You might lose many along the way, but in the end, those who are for you will love and accept your true, authentic self.
Hey you,Is there something you’re finally learning to own and be proud of?I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks a bunch for sticking around.
See you next time, bye!🤎
See you next time, bye!🤎