Over-Apologizing is Hurting You!!

 

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How many times have you caught yourself saying “sorry” when you didn’t actually do anything wrong? (Imagine me side-eyeing you) Maybe you've apologized for needing help, for just being you, or even worse, you've apologized just to keep the peace, even though for sure you aren't in the wrong. Over-apologizing is something many of us do, often without realizing it, and it’s about time we talk about it.

You know, apologizing is different, it's all about trying to take responsibility or easing someone else’s pain and worry. But somewhere along the way, it turns into a bad habit. A habit that makes us feel like we need to be "less" just to keep others comfortable.

We often fall into this trap because we want to fix things even when they’re not ours to fix. We fear conflict and confrontation, and we try to avoid them at all costs. We want people to like us, and worry that standing our ground might push them away. We feel uncomfortable when others are uncomfortable, so what do we do? We overcompensate by apologizing.

But ask yourself, does over-apologizing make things better? 

If you're getting tired of over-apologizing, here's how you can unlearn it:

Work on your confidence- When you're comfortable with who you really are, you stop seeking approval through apologies. Build your confidence by affirming your worth, even if your voice shakes at first.

Set healthy boundaries- Setting boundaries is how you protect your energy, time, and well-being. You are allowed to say “no” without a long explanation. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but you need to prioritize your needs!!

Using words of gratitude instead- Replacing the word sorry with thank you is a small shift that makes a big difference. For example, say “Thank you for waiting” instead of “Sorry I’m late.” Gratitude empowers both you and the person you’re speaking to. It shifts the moment to appreciation, from guilt and shame.

Stop apologizing just to keep the peace- Sometimes we say sorry just to avoid tension, even when we haven’t done anything wrong.  Peace built on shrinking yourself isn’t peace, it’s silence. Speak up when it matters. You’re allowed to disagree.  
Over-apologizing really does hurt your self-esteem and self-worth. It teaches your mind that you're always at fault, even when you're not, and over time, you start to believe that your needs are an inconvenience to others. 

Don't get me wrong, this isn’t to say you should never apologize. Sincere apologies are powerful and important. But don’t say sorry for existing. Don’t apologize for having needs. Don’t feel guilty for being imperfect. 

Next time you catch yourself about to apologize, pause and ask: Did I actually do something wrong? Or am I just feeling uncomfortable?

What’s that one “I’m sorry” you no longer feel like you owe anyone?

I’d love to hear from you.

Thanks a bunch for sticking around.

See you next time, bye!🤎

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