Your Brain is just wired that way.

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Have you ever asked yourself why you tend to mostly remember unhappy times and memories? The times when you felt hurt. Well, here's a simple characteristic of the brain, memory, and emotions. When you go through something heavy and very emotional, your brain lights up. It releases chemicals that basically say, “This is important, don’t forget it.” That’s why those memories stick like glue. It’s called Arousal theory. Your brain holds onto the loud moments, not always the good ones, but the ones that shook you. So no, you're not weak for remembering the pain, it’s just how we’re wired.

We all need to remember this truth. Sometimes, the way we remember things isn’t exactly how they happened. Memory isn’t just a perfect recording of the past. It’s emotional. It’s messy and it’s influenced.

Sometimes you might feel so confident about seeing someone somewhere, and your story seems perfect. But actually, you've mixed up two or even more events. This is what your brain does it remembers something, but gets the source wrong. You might mix people, places, or timelines. It’s like your mind grabs puzzle pieces and tries to force a picture that doesn’t quite fit.

So let's say you witness two of your friends having an argument. If someone else says that they had such a huge argument, you will start remembering their argument as being more extreme than it actually was. This happens because someone else's words, opinions, or even just a question, change how you remember something. Your memory gets rewritten without you even realizing it, just because of what someone said or how they said it.

Did you know that your current mood, beliefs, or experiences can actually shape how you remember past events? If you feel down now, you might look back and see the past as darker than it really was. Your brain filters memory through how you feel now, not just what happened then.

So yeah, the past might feel clear, but it’s not always accurate.  And knowing this? It can help you be a little kinder to yourself. Because sometimes, what you’re holding onto, isn't even the full truth. 

We always forget that as you learn and experience more in life, your perspective shifts, and so does your view of the past. A memory that once felt painful might soften over time as you gain new insights or wisdom. You may even begin to see the lessons within those challenging experiences, realizing that they helped shape who you are today. 

Breathe. Be patient with yourself.

PS (Don't shy away from seeking help when you feel like your past is getting too loud.)

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