The sneaky game of seeking approval.

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I've been thinking about something a lot lately, and that is approval addiction. Not just any kind I’m talking about the kind that hits closest to home which is, approval from the people we love.

You’ve probably seen it show up in little ways like “How do I look in this?” “Do you think this hairstyle suits me?” “Should I really go for that job?” And then in the big stuff, Choosing a career, who to marry, what to invest in, whether to stay, leave, try again, or give up.

Yes yes, I know most of us will defend it by saying, “I just value their opinion, they’re family.” And sure, that might be true. But be honest with yourself for a second is it really about their opinion? Or are you waiting for their approval before you move?

When you're just looking for someone’s opinion, you listen with an open mind. You’re not waiting to be validated or told you’re right, you’re simply hearing their take. You can agree or not, and still walk away grounded in your own choice. But when you’re seeking approval, that’s a whole different story. Suddenly, their opinion feels like a stamp of worth. If they don’t agree, it shakes you. You start doubting yourself and overthinking, and you end up not choosing what you want or like just to hear a “yes” and to get applauded by them.

Approval addiction is like squeezing yourself into a dress that’s a size too small. You can’t breathe, you’re uncomfortable the whole time, but you wear it anyway, hoping someone says, “Wow, you look amazing.” that's cool and all, but at what cost? Your comfort? Your peace? That’s a big no.

Here's the thing, seeking approval can be sneaky. It can start off as an innocent question: “Do you think this is a good idea?”.But deep down, you’re already hoping for a certain answer. So when they don’t give it? You’re crushed. Not because they were mean, but because they didn’t give you the validation you were depending on. Wild, right? But it’s also real.
No shame. No judgment.
We’ve all been there.

That's it for today a little shorter than usual, but I hope it gave you something to think about. If this one made you smile, sigh, or side-eye your own thoughts a little I’d love to hear your thoughts. Go ahead and drop a comment down below and share how this landed for you.

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