The quiet guilt when feeling happy.

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I am pretty sure most of us, if not all, have typed “how to be happy” into a search bar at some point. Because that’s the goal, right? Just to be happy.  

Maybe your business finally picked up, and the cash flow is flowing like never before. Maybe your family isn’t struggling like it used to, and life feels lighter. Maybe your mental health is getting better, and you’re showing up for yourself in more intentional ways.  

Maybe that job or promotion you prayed for came through and now, the salary, the benefits, the peace of it all? Feels like a dream. Maybe your relationship is healing, slowly but surely, and you and your partner are finding your rhythm again. Or maybe the weight of grief you’ve carried for so long is finally starting to feel a little lighter.

Whatever it is, you feel happy. Or even happier!! And that, my friend, is more than okay.  You deserve it. We all do.

But you know what’s funny? We spend so much time searching for happiness, reading books, watching videos, praying, journaling, and Googling all the ways to feel better. But when that happiness finally shows up, we freeze. It’s like “Wait a minute, things are going too well.” I saw a meme about that the other day and laughed so hard because honestly, where’s the lie?

Yes, you’re feeling happy, but now you’re low-key bracing yourself for something bad to happen. It’s like your happiness must be balanced out by something bad. Why? Maybe because we’ve been taught that for every high, a low is just around somewhere coming. That life always has to "balance out." But here's what gets me, why isn’t that same mindset automatic when we’re in pain? Why don’t we just as easily believe that something good is coming to balance out the bad?We often need someone else to remind us of that. Because somewhere along the way, we’ve been conditioned to believe that struggle is part of being “real,” and happiness has to be earned or paid for in advance. Just resting in joy? That almost feels wrong.

Then there’s that kind of guilt, the one that creeps in when things are going well for you, but the people around you are still struggling. You finally caught a break, but your friend is still stuck. Your life is lighter, but your sibling is still carrying a lot. And you find yourself thinking, Why me? Why not all of us? Of course, we want everyone to win, that’s love. But let’s be honest for a minute, shrinking yourself doesn’t help anyone grow. Downplaying your joy doesn’t make someone else’s pain go away.

The crazy part is this: first, you feel happy. Then, out of nowhere, you feel guilty for being happy. And then, wait for it, you feel guilty for feeling guilty for being happy. I know, I almost lost it just typing that out. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s real. And the worst part? It’s exhausting.

You end up doubting your own emotions, like you can’t trust yourself to enjoy life. It's almost like you're questioning, “How comfortable have I gotten with being miserable that I’m out here fighting my own joy?”
It’s wild, but it happens. We get so used to surviving pain that when peace knocks, we don’t know whether to open the door or brace for impact.

All this is to say, life is too short, hun. Be happy. Allow yourself to feel it, fully and boldly, without second-guessing your own joy. You deserve soft moments too. Don’t guilt-trip yourself out of the good stuff in life.

Anyway guys, Thank you for sticking around.

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