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I am pretty sure most of us, if not all, have typed “how to be happy” into a search bar at some point. Because that’s the goal, right? To just be happy.
But you know what’s funny? We spend so much time searching for happiness, reading books, watching videos, praying, journaling, and Googling all the ways to feel better. But when that happiness finally shows up, we freeze. We're like, “Wait a minute, things are going too well.” I saw a meme about that the other day and laughed so hard because honestly, where’s the lie?
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Yes, you’re feeling happy, but now you’re low-key waiting for something bad to happen. It’s like your happiness must be balanced out by something bad. Why? Maybe because we’ve been taught that for every high, a low is just around somewhere coming. That life always has to "balance out." But here's what gets me, why isn’t that same mindset automatic when we’re in pain? Why don’t we just as easily believe that something good is coming to balance out the bad?
We often need someone else to remind us of that. Because somewhere along the way, we’ve been conditioned to believe that struggle is part of being “real,” and happiness has to be earned or paid for in advance. Just resting in joy and peace? That almost feels wrong.
I think part of it comes from how many of us were raised. It’s like we were told growing up that hard work is noble, like that's what life is all about, but rest, it's viewed as being lazy. That you need to go through fire to be worthy of anything good. So when peace finally shows up, it almost feels like we skipped a step or worse, like we don’t deserve it. But does happiness really have to be enjoyed only after pain and sweat? I honestly don't think so. Sometimes it’s just what you allow yourself to feel, no explanation needed.
Then there’s that kind of guilt, the one that creeps in when things are going well for you, but the people around you are still struggling. You finally caught a break, but your friend is still stuck. Your life is lighter, but your sibling is still carrying a lot. And you find yourself thinking, Why me? Why not all of us? Of course, we want everyone to win, that’s love. But let’s be honest for a minute, shrinking yourself doesn’t help anyone grow.
Downplaying your happiness doesn’t make someone else’s pain go away!!
I remember this one time I was having a really good week. You know, the kind of week where your skin is glowing, your playlist is on point, body is tea, and money is flowing. But instead of just enjoying it all, I caught myself looking around like I was being pranked. That inner voice was like, “Enjoy it while it lasts.” And honestly? That robbed me of the moment. I couldn’t even fully enjoy my smoothie because I was busy preparing for a tragedy that wasn't happening.
The crazy part is this: first, you feel happy. Then, out of nowhere, you feel guilty for being happy. And then, wait for it, you feel guilty for feeling guilty for being happy. I know, I almost lost it just typing that out. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s real. And the worst part? It’s exhausting.
You end up doubting your own emotions, like you can’t trust yourself to enjoy life. It's almost like you're questioning, “How comfortable have I gotten with being miserable that I’m out here fighting my own joy?”
It’s wild, but it happens. We get so used to surviving pain that when peace knocks, we don’t know whether to open the door or brace for impact.
All this is to say, life is too short, hun. Be happy. Allow yourself to feel it, fully and boldly, without second-guessing your own joy. You deserve soft moments too. Don’t guilt-trip yourself out of the good stuff in life.
Have you ever felt guilty for being happy? What helped you through it?I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks a bunch for sticking around.See you next time, bye!🤎
See you next time, bye!🤎