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Most of us hate admitting that we don’t know something. We’ll sit there nodding, hoping no one notices we’re completely lost. We’ll Google things in secret. We’ll laugh along like we got the joke, only to go home later and search, “What does that even mean?”
Why? Because not knowing has somehow become this shameful thing. We’ve been taught that if we ask “too many questions,” especially the so-called “stupid ones,” we’ll look incompetent, unprepared, or worse, slow. And let’s face it, no one wants to feel like the only clueless person in the room.
We all remember being rewarded in school for having the answers. You get a shiny gold star if you know things. But what happens if you don’t? You sit there feeling small while everyone else looks like a genius!
Fast forward to adulthood, and the stakes feel higher. Now it’s not just about gold stars, it’s about jobs, the praises, opportunities, or how people perceive you. You don’t want to be that person holding up the meeting with a basic question. So you stay quiet. But the thing is, staying quiet might save your pride for five minutes, but it costs you clarity in the long run. Chances are, at least three other people in the room had the same question but were also too scared to ask.
You know what, stupid questions don’t exist! Yes, I said what I said. What exists is pretending to understand something when you don’t, and then making bigger mistakes later because of it. You don’t have to know everything. In fact, you can’t know everything. And pretending you do is exhausting.
Asking questions is one of the quickest ways to learn. And yes, sometimes the question feels obvious. Sometimes it feels embarrassing. But wouldn’t you rather risk five seconds of awkwardness than months of confusion?
I mean, think about it...
There’s actually something freeing about admitting you don't know. It takes the pressure off. Suddenly, you’re not carrying the weight of pretending anymore. You’ve opened the door for growth instead of shutting it out with pride.
Saying “I don’t know” doesn’t make you less smart. If anything, it shows courage. It tells the world, I’m curious and ready to learn. Those are the traits that actually build wisdom.
Hey, don't be embarrassed to say, “Explain that to me like I’m five.” Start shifting from the mindset of having to know everything to curiosity. That way, when you bump into something confusing, instead of panicking or pretending, you'll think, Oh cool, something new to learn. You'll stop worrying about whether you look silly and start focusing on the fact that you’re growing. And honestly, that sounds more peaceful.
Not gonna lie, sometimes the hard part isn’t that you don’t know something, it’s the reaction you get when people find out you don't. You know that dramatic “Wait… you don’t know that?!” It honestly is triggering and embarrassing. But here’s something I learnt, don’t, I mean it, DO NOT take the bait. Just hit them with “Nope, I don’t. Care to enlighten me?” or even a sassy, “Well, guess I’m learning something new today, thanks!” Just flip the script. Instead of feeling small or defending yourself for not knowing, you turn the moment into proof that you’re confident enough to admit what you don’t know, and that’s way cooler than pretending.
Anyway, bestie, this is a reminder for me and you that it’s okay not to know. We’re not less capable, less intelligent, or less worthy because we don’t have all the answers. We’re human, and being human means we’re constantly learning. So, go ahead and ask the “silly” question. Admit when you’re lost, and please let yourself be a beginner sometimes. Because beginners get to explore, to be curious, and to grow without the pressure of already being an expert!!
Do you feel like sometimes you equate your worth as a person to how intelligent you are?
I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks a bunch for sticking around.
See you next time, bye!🤎